Guilty by reason of insanity or mental defect.

Today was round 3 of the Mud, Sweat and Gears Cyclocross series in Johnson City, Tn. I missed the first two rounds and with it my chance at doing well in the series overall. That combined with my life story of late kinda resembling a screenplay for a new disaster movie and consequently

me spending a lot of time off my bike in the last 5 weeks set me up for what was sure to be a real hum-dinger of a sufferfest. There was also a chance of rain which meant that it was going to pour at some point... it just does. Still, I loaded up bikes and gear for the deal and headed out for Winged Deer Park and a day of self-inflicted punishment. Being that it's Halloween and Spooky Cross, I decided to do something a little special

The first race was at 10:30 and the field was huge. I got a good start, 4th or 5th going up the hill and into the first turn but I knew I wouldn't be able to stay there for the whole race. I started feeling my inactivity real quick and began to fade to eventually finish 16th - still in the upper half of the field though so I was happy.

The course was really tricky with a sandpit with three turns in it (didja ever try riding in deep sand and changing direction?) plus several really extreme off-camber parts that were slick even when dry much less if it got wet.......

The rain came and was cold and steady making the course evil. Several people went down, some of them really hard (one guy probably broke a collarbone). My next race was on my singlespeed and it still had fat mountain bike tires which would serve me well. I usually ride good in slop which was another positive. I hate being cold and wet at the same time though and that was nearly a deal breaker. While I waited for my race, I looked through the car for my balls plus all the warm clothes I could find. An hour, One arm warmer and two knee warmers later, I headed out to get wet and try to get my mind right for the next 30 minutes of my life that were gonna be a bit uncomfortable. I had to ask myself why do I keep putting my body through this kind of torture. I mean days like today are exactly why couches were invented. Hmmm..... Think I'd rather suffer like a dog for a half-hour in a muddy and cold field than get fat on the couch.

I took the start for the singlespeed class and we got about ten feet off the pavement before I got a money-shot of slop right to my face rendering me blind for the next hundred or so yards. I think I got passed there and when I regained most of my sight, I was in 4th right behind my friend Mike Mefford. I felt like that was a good place to be and tried my best to stay there but kept getting crap in my face and messing up my contacts. The course was really slick and the off camber sections were pretty much a free for all. I even crashed once and slid to the bottom on my stomach, fun times.....

I ended up 6th and happy that I stuck it out. I knew this race was going to be particularly hard on me and I wasn't disappointed. Still, it was fun and after a hot shower and some food, I forgot about all the pain. Maybe for the next one, I can take some fitness.....

Hmm..........