That's how I feel today. Not good, not bad, just blah. My mom had a stroke yesterday and I wasn't gonna mention it here but I figured why not. I am not a particularly private person. I will tell anyone (almost) anything without reservation. She's in the hospital today and they have her sedated while they can assess her condition. She isn't (apparently) in any grave danger but still we don't know............we don't f***ing know. That's the hardest part.
I am almost 42 years old and my mom and dad have always been there you know, pillars of existence for me. It's just tough dealing with this shit but in alot of ways there are parallels between bike racing and life. In a race, in almost every race, there is a point where you just want to quit, to end the pain. Do you take the blue pill (quit) and end the pain now or do you take the red pill of enlightenment and press on? I was taught from a very early age to always take the red pill - to finish what I started, never quit and never, ever give up.
You have to do that in racing and in life. I know that's what mom would do.
Changing the subject, I went ahead to the pack races last night just to try and clear my head and scratch out a little more fitness. I was really satisfied with how I rode. I went out with the first "A" group and although the group was really disorganized and not working together at all, I did what I could and we managed to stay away for the first lap. We were caught up by the remaining groups on the second lap. I kinda saw it coming and stopped working to save myself for the blitzkrieg I knew would come once we all got together. We came together just going into the hills on the backside of the course and I got boxed in behind a slower rider and it's funny how a 40 foot gap becomes a 40 yard gap just like that. I chased back on in time for the biggest climb on the course. It's about 200 yds long and gets steeper the further you go. At the steepest part, I got gapped again and chased but didn't have much chase left at that point.
It was a good workout though and served its purpose.
Next up for me (assuming.............) is the Assault on the Carolinas this Saturday where I'll be riding my singlespeed in the 100K which includes the climb of Cesars Head (never seen it, heard it's a bitch - we'll see).